Get Real (Part Three)
Get Real With Yourself
How many chicks have you tried to help out of the shell—only to watch them die later?
For me?
Way too many.
Whether it was the actual, fuzzy chicks in the brooder box…
Or the metaphorical ones:
• The man I tried to love into healing the emotional wounds of his past
• The friend I kept encouraging, even as she drained me
• The family member I kept rescuing from consequences
• The client I gave too much time to—until they expected it as a right
Each one felt tender. Worth saving.
And every time I cracked the shell for them, thinking I was helping…
They didn’t make it.
Not really. Not for long.
Not without me constantly there to prop them up.
You can’t carry someone through their own transformation.
The ones who survive are the ones who want it bad enough to fight for it.
Just like my chicks.
This is the heartbreak of city girls and country girls alike—
Mothers of Everything, whose only desire is to save what they love.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Saving isn’t the same as loving.
And sometimes the most loving thing you can do is…
step back, and let them struggle.
We swoop in. We nurture. We fix.
And when we can’t fix, we overcompensate.
But here’s the truth:
These are the lies we tell ourselves:
Just one more time…
That phrase haunted me growing up.
I can still hear the bus driver’s voice in the mirror, shaking her finger:
“Just one more time!”
At the bullies.
At the chaos.
At the silence.
I always wondered… was she warning them?
Or was she giving them permission?
Because we were raised on dysfunction dressed up as wisdom:
• Don’t rock the boat.
• Don’t change horses midstream.
• Turn the other cheek.
All of these bumper-sticker truths have a place.
But when they dig deep into your heart and override your instincts—
When they become a script that keeps you trapped in someone else’s drama—
They have outlived their usefulness.
I’m learning to get real in every area of my life.
And even if you’re not ready for that yet…
You’re still welcome at my table. 🫶
💬 Reader Question (for Part Three)
What lie have you been telling yourself to justify staying too long, giving too much, or saving someone who won’t fight for themselves?
Are you ready to set it down?